Spongeben Hotpants (The Cumberbatch Song)

Of course we didn't sleep outside! We were in Scotland! Sure, we spent a good few hours out there and I think Ben dosed off on at least three occasions. Nonetheless, we eventually did shuffle back into our tents, anxious for the light not to fully render our torches useless. Waking up was one of the toughest ordeals of my life. Shannen and Ben looked just as droopy-eyed as I felt and I wondered if either of them had managed to sleep. Talking to Ben had helped. I felt closer to the group around me, less alone. Maybe Ben did too but it hadn't occurred to me in the first place that he'd feel in as much danger as me. He was a grown-up. He wasn't meant to get scared.
The day started with Colonel Keaton slipping and fumbling down the leaf-strewn path that zig-zagged down the hollow to our circle. The soldiers were already up and moving around. Keaton was here only to ensure we stayed put and stayed quiet until the forces were assembled and they could slip inside the ranks unnoticed by The Major. This was really happening.
Every time anyone mentioned Eliza's name was mentioned Shannen's eyes glanced at the ground and she goes all quiet. I guess her phone running out of juice and having to sit in the car charging for roughly five hours was almost as bad as death for her. Ben, Guntas and I decided to cheer her up.
 "Okay," Ben whispered, "According to Keaton, we have about two hours until we can leave. I have an idea."
 It took us roughly an hour to ready ourselves, with Rebecca amd Alex keeping Shannen busy inside a tent. Then, finally, we were ready. We knocked on the door of the tent and called Shannen out, Ben hidden behind us both.
 "Are you ready kids?" I called.
 "Aye-aye, Watson!" Guntas replied.
 "I can't hear you!"
 "AYE-AYE, WATSON!"
 "Ohhhhhhh, who lives in a flat called two-two-one B?"
 "Benedict Cumberbatch!" Guntas replied as Ben peeked out from behind us.
 "Whose glorious cheekbones endear him to me?"
 "BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH!" and now everyone had joined in, with Ben still poking his face out in all directions behind me.
"Whose whacky deductions be something he makes?"
"BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH!"
"Then drop off the roof and get mycroft his cake!"
"BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH! BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH BENEDIIIICT CUMBERAAAAATCH!"
"I have to admit that I'm in love with whoever wrote that," I squeezed through my laughter.
"Yeah," Guntas replied, "It was on Tumblr somewhere, wasn't it?"
"I wish we knew who made it," Shannen sighed.
 Great, if the Cumberbatch Song couldn't cheer up Shannen, nothing in this world could except the co-captain of her ship, the co-queen of her queendom, the co-empress of the Shaliza Empire. Understable. And so, we left her to mope, for she seemed a lost cause, for the almost-hour until the attack was scheduled to begin. Almost at the end of his book, Benedict had decided to take up the post of look-out.
 "Keaton's coming!" he called.
 Keaton skid hurrily down the hollow and grouped us all together.
 "Okay," he began, leaning in like a sports coach delivering a game plan, "They've split us all up into different divisions and I've got somebody in each one who's agreed to look out for one of you each. I figure splitting you up might stop you being spotted, though if this goes well, I think the Major will let it slide."
 "And if it doesn't?" Rebecca asked.
 Keaton's eyes flitted to the ground. He passed out equipment - no guns! - without a word and then gave us the regular prep speech that I guess he used for every soldier before every battle. He then proceeded to lead us round in a circle behind the main camp until we filed into a small hut that housed our 'mentors'.